Stripperella
by Camfield
Summary: Sex symbol, trophy wife and whore extraordinaire. Meet Starscream. Humanized AU. Take it and make it like you mean it.
1. Warnings and such

Universe: Wildly AU - Humanized Transformers  
Rating: NC17  
Characters: A lot of them. Megatron, Starscream, Optimus Prime, Elita One, Soundwave, cassettes, Blaster, cassettes, Prowl, Jazz, Tracks, Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Cliffjumper, Sideswipe, Coneheads, Shockwave, Sunstorm, Arcee, and probably a lot more that I can't remember.

A/N: This has no point? Seriously. I don't know where it is going, or what the hell is coming out of it, but why not! There are stranger things out there! Yes, I'm a horrible and depraved person. I got that memo already. ) It will be a collection of scenes in the same AU universe, all connected by Starscream, aka Stripperella.

The WARNINGS: Okay. I will only, ONLY, be warning here for each chapter. That way, if you need to know what is going on BEFORE you read, you should come HERE to do so. This will allow everyone who doesn't want to be spoilered, to be spoilered. Warnings will be labeled by chapter, and will ONLY BE UPDATED HERE. A note to that effect will be at the top of each chapter. I will be warning for what I consider kinks and squicks only.

* * *

1. Voyeurism

2. Beastiality, minors engaged in oral sex.

3. Anal, Rimming, Threesome

4. Femslash

Reminder to check the first chapter for WARNINGS if you need to. Otherwise, please do read on!


	2. Meet Stripperella

Reminder to check the first chapter for WARNINGS if you need to. Otherwise, please do read on!

* * *

Megatron staggered outside, sitting heavily in one of the cheap, plastic lawn chairs that littered the yard. He flopped his legs open and slouched, a hand reaching down to scratch his balls before lifting his fingers to his nose and sniffing.

A shrug, and he let his hand fall back onto his boxers, rubbing just slightly over the bulge as he watched Starscream lean in and push the mower, her denim miniskirt lifting enough so that he could see the tanned ass cheeks peeking out, along with the neon pink of the crotch of her thong. Rubbing his fingers a little more forcefully against his boxers, Megatron let his eyes travel the length of his wife's body.

Bottle blonde uneven bob, always with a large, fruity clip of some sort floating around in it, dark tanned skin, the result of lounging by their 'pool' with a giant bottle of coconut scented oil. A white tube top, and Megatron gleefully watched the points that he knew were nipples as they rubbed against the fabric, that was small enough to keep only the bare essentials covered, the edges of her piercings making themselves known every time she shifted and the cloth stretched. Her stomach was toned. Enough. She had a little pouch he loved to tease her about, even though he couldn't actually care less that it was there. The side straps of her thong stretched high over her hips, the tiny miniskirt covering asscrack to just barely over the curve of her cheeks.

Those legs. Megatron told people he'd married her for those legs. Long, slender, and absolutely PERFECT. Heeled in the highest platform spikes she could find, the laces strapping them all the way up to her knees as she pushed the mower, gleaming with sweat in the heat. He grasped his dick through his boxers and groaned, eyes glued to the junction between her thighs as she cursed, fighting the red machine each step of the way.

Finally she stopped, letting go of the handle and shoving it aside, swearing as she walked back to the house. When she caught sight of Megatron, with his hand rubbing over his crotch and a hungry stare, a smirk crossed her features and she stopped stomping to sway over.

"Mom, Ramjet just broke the tv AGAIN. You need to send him to the government for animal testing or something, before we don't fucking have anything left in the house!"

Starscream wheeled around, perfectly manicured hand and bedazzled false nails flying out to slap Thrust across the face. He stumbled backward, a hand cupping his red cheek.

"Can't you kids do anything yourselves? Kick him! Lock him in the bathroom again! Duct tape him to a chair! I'm about to fuck your Dad and I don't need you little bastards in the way, kapeesh?"

The teen had both hands fisted at his side, a sheen of moisture over his eyes as he turned and walked back into the house, broken screen door flapping behind him.

Starscream paid no mind, turning back to see Megatron still stroking himself. A few steps and she stood beside him, nails trailing lightly through his hair.

He purred, leaning in to the touch as it moved downward, over his neck and bare pectorals to defined abdominal muscles, reaching to smooth the line of hair that led from his belly button past the waistband of his boxers, palming the half hard cock through the fabric before swinging herself onto the chair.

Platform shoes were planted next to thick thighs, and knees rested against the back of the chair on either side of Megatron's chest. Starscream bent and kissed him slowly, her tongue dragging across his in a very visual and obscene way, stands of saliva connecting them as she pulled away again and again before diving back in.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught movement from their neighbor's window, a flash of pink that she sneeringly associated with Optimus Prime's wife, Elita One.

Watching, were they? Perhaps she should give them something to see then.

She straightened up, hands hiking up her skirt to reveal the front of her thong, dragging a nail against it teasingly.

"We have voyeurs, Megatron, I think we should give them a good show, don't you?"

Megatron's eyes darkened and he leaned forward to nip the neon pink cloth, tongue swiping out to darken the fabric with each lick.

A breathy laugh from Starscream and she pulled it to the side, pushing her hips forward, a hand carding through thick salt and pepper hair to guide him forward. Throwing her head back and kneading his shoulder with her other hand as he moved inward, nibbling and licking.

Starscream jolted, a moan rolling out, as Megatron brought up a finger and licked it, sliding between baby smooth lips to slick over her fluttering entrance and pushing it inside. He passed his tongue over the tattoo of an evil looking kitten wearing a nun's habit that sat just inside her pelvic triangle, using the tip to trace the outline from top to tail.

Another lick, the flat of his tongue rasping over skin. Megatron's hands grabbing his wife's thighs and pulling them even wider apart so that he could heft her almost onto his face. Their eyes meeting as he pushed his tongue fully into her, feeling her quiver as he moved it slowly in an undulating motion.

Starscream sighed, her breath hitching at the tail end.

"You always have been the best at eating me out, Megatron. No one else can even come close."

He grinned against her, teeth grinding the folds of flesh that covered her, tongue lapping inward and around, twisting and flicking as she rocked over his face. One hand in his hair, the other pushing her tube top down to rub her pierced nipples, tugging on the silver rings and throwing her head back with a groan.

"That's it baby, make Optimus and his pretty little wife jealous of us. I can see them watching, peeking out from behind those tacky curtains they have. Wanting you to be doing this to them. Wanting to be in my place."

Megatron snarled, one hand slipping inward. A finger pulling back on the rim of her vaj, a breathy moan turning his attention upward. Teasing her clit, massaging it with his tongue and feeling her bear down. closing his eyes as clear fluid spattered him full in the face. Tongue still rocking against her until Starscream hissed against the sensation. Pulling her down to straddle his lap and grinding them together. Dick hot and thick against her even through his boxers and Starscream turned her head to look directly into the offending window. A smirk curling at the edges of her mouth as she jerked the fly open and smoothed a hand over Megatron's cock.

The curtains rustled again and she let out a breathy laugh that turned into a moan as Megatron thrust up and pulled her down at the same time.

~~

* * *

Elita snuck another peek out of the window, ignoring her furiously blushing husband as he watched them fuck on a perilously close to breaking lawn chair.

"Honestly! They should be ashamed of themselves! Doing that where anyone can just see them!"

Optimus opened his mouth to state that they were the only ones who could see over the privacy fence, but Elita paid him no mind.

"And did you see her hit that poor boy! It's a wonder child services don't come out and just take those poor babies away from that horrible woman!"

"We've only been here a month Elita, perhaps we don't have the full picture yet?"

Elita turned her full attention on Optimus, her narrowed gaze making him twitch and duck his head before offering a crooked smile.

"And so God says that children are gifts from him, to be treasured and kept safe. That thou shalt not ruin, nor bruise of mind, body or heart. Rather, take care and comfort, and raise them to be worshipful and respectful in all ways."

"Yes, Elita, I do know what your scriptures say about children. You have quoted them often since coming here. I'm just saying that we don't even really know our neighbors yet, how can we judge them!"

Elita sniffed, turning back to gesture at the wildly rocking lawn chair, a topless and wiggling Starscream arching as Megatron fastened his mouth to a breast, the visible slide of dick into pussy making her curl her mouth in disgust.

"You can't tell me that they don't enjoy debauching themselves like this. And the fact that SHE was mowing the lawn in heels? All for his enjoyment, I guarantee it! They are about as far from God as people can be."

Optimus put his hands on his wife's shoulders. Guiding her away from the window to sit in the plush armchair near the bookshelf.

"'Lita, perhaps you can read to me from a book you like? You know how much I enjoy the sound of your voice."

She gave him a wry look, but choose something from the shelf and settled down. Voice clear and strong in the sitting room.

Optimus sat next to her, a hand on her knee, and tried not to picture himself in the lawn chair with his neighbors.

~~~

* * *

Starscream wailed, nails digging into Megatron's shoulders. Clamped tight in his lap, the bastard grinding his hips in circles as she hovered on the edge, trying to pull away to get leverage, any kind of leverage, to thrust against him.

His tongue was through the hoop piercing, tugging and sucking. The metal warm from all the attention it was getting. She bit her lip, trying to angle down... just to hit that one spot...

Megatron's arms stopped her, stubble rasping across the skin of her breasts and stomach.

"You bastard! Let me go, OHhhh!"

A chuckle, but Megatron began rocking back up into her in short, jerky motions. His arms tightening around her waist as he buried his head in her stomach.

She shrieked into orgasm, clawing at his back and shoulders until lines of blood welled to the surface. Legs wrapped as tight as they could be around him, shuddering and jerking as he groaned. His own release shooting into her, gravity making it run back down to drip onto his boxers.

A moment in time, and then Starscream relaxed against him, her mouth sliding over his in a gentle embrace.

"It looks like our neighbors left before we were though. Too bad for them."

Megatron rumbled nonsense. His body vibrating with the low purr of the happily sated. Burying his face into her neck as she relaxed against him.


	3. Stripperella goes to the pound

Reminder to check the first chapter for WARNINGS if you need to. Otherwise, please do read on!

* * *

"I assume that the dog is ready?"

Soundwave gave her a reproachful look. "When has he ever not been ready, Starscream. Just put your belt on and get in front of the camera."

A sneer, but Starscream did as she was told. Once being scratched to pieces by the giant mastiff was plenty enough of a lessor for her. Once on, she undid her hair clip, shaking her head and sitting to unlace her shoes, her dress already hanging on the hook by the door.

Frenzy was manning the camera today, and gave her a lascivious grin. His eyes darkening as he watched her hips and breasts sway as she walked over and leaned against the wall, returning her nod out of carefully ingrained habit rather than hospitality.

Soundwave wasn't far behind, Punch, the huge Mastiff already biting at the bit and whining at the end of his leash. She unclipped it and gave him the sit command before sliding out of the shot, moving to where she could easily jump in if needed.

Another nod from Frenzy and Starscream ran her hands over the giant dog, cooing to him in a disturbingly cute way. Letting him lick a stripe from neck to ear, even though every single human in the room knew that she hated it with a passion, only failing to respond as she normally would because the camera was rolling, and second shots were wasted money.

Punch licked lower, his own routine well established. A swipe of the tongue across her breasts to nose her right between the legs, making Starscream moan and rise up on her toes. Tongue slithering out to lick from asshole up to the edge of her slit, stopping every few to wedge his nose back in and sniff around, looking for the signs he'd been taught meant that his bitch was ready.

Starscream moved and maneuvered on the floor, laying down with her knees up and spread, hips arched high in the air, waving in front of Punch's face. He looked to Soundwave and she gave him the go ahead, his nose immediately going back between the spread legs, tongue this time tasting as he went, probing, pushing full length in to Starscream before rolling back out. Sampling the flavor, his jowls puffing as he took air in with the flavor of his bitch. Snuffing back out to push his tongue in again, ears perking as she made one of her happy noises. He licked with gusto, the full, flat, broad length of his tongue grating against her sensitive skin. The foot long appendage rasping against her clit for full seconds on end, always returning to press inside, testing to see if she was ready enough for him.

It didn't take long this time, and her legs were shaking with the effort to keep her pelvis in the air.

Starscream's moans punctuated the air and Punch worked enthusiastically until she lowered her hips. Scootching around on her back to press her own tongue to the seated Mastiff's still sheathed erection.

Starscream licked the tip, hands working the folds of skin until his penis extended, hard and long and pink. Fluid already gathered at the tip and knot swelling as hot and wet teased Punch with their insufficient stimulations.

A signal from Soundwave and Punch moved backward, mouth hanging open and jowls puffing up with air as he watched his bitch turn and present herself for the taking. His nose pressing right through her folds to sniff the opening directly, tongue slithering inside a few more times before Punch abruptly heaved himself up, his dewclaws catching the waist cover as he tried to position himself, his bitch reaching a limb back to help guide him in.

A rumble escaped him at the first thrust, and Punch growled low. His hips pistoning, balls smacking Starscream with every snarling thrust. Her hips tilting back and knees spreading wider as the camera shot zoomed in to capture the whole length of the Mastiff's penis as it moved in and out. Fluids glistening and dripping from where they connected and Punch's knot finally slipping inside. The Mastiff lunging forward to catch her hair in his teeth. His hips jerked, Starscream wailing for the camera, and then stilled, Punch keeping a hold of his bitch until Soundwave made a sharp motion. Her slobber coated hair falling from his mouth as he dismounted and stood waiting, the two ass to ass, for his knot to recede.

Frenzy zoomed in on Starscream, the woman jerking every time the dog moved until he finally slid free, her hand pushing the hair from her face to look into the camera, breathing heavily through an open mouth, before Frenzy cut it and offered a hand. Soundwave already moving Punch back through the house to his massive outdoor kennel.

She took it, heaving herself up with a distasteful grimace.

"Why I ever agreed to do dogs I'll never know."

Soundwave's oldest son gave a toothy grin, unhooking the memory card from the camera and heading over to the computer they kept in the stage room.

"Money, of course. There are a lot of sick bastards out there dying to see you get fucked by an animal with a giant dick'n balls."

Starscream gave a pointed look at the bulge visible in Frenzy's cargo shorts.

"Don't tell me. You're one of those sick bastards?"

The man laughed, turning just enough to present his profile and prominently tented shorts.

"A learned trait over the years, I assure you. Even Ma gets hot under the collar with you here, not that she'd ever show it. You just have one of those vajs that everyone enjoys looking at, I suppose."

She unzipped the waist cover and folded it back up, tucking it into its slot on the wall before pulling her slobber covered hair back with an alligator clip. Lifting her sun dress off the hook and over her head, smirking at Frenzy before her head disappeared under the fabric. Shaking to make the dress lay properly and sitting to lace her shoes back up, fabric riding up on her thigh as she spread her knees and bent to the task.

Frenzy made no move to cover his leer, eyes dark and hungry as they stared between her thighs.

"What, no underwear today?"

Starscream finished lacing her first platform and moved on to the next, making sure to splay herself just that more in the chair.

"I prefer ease of access, myself, and why wear something that would only get dirty?"

She tied the knot in her laces, hiking up her dress a little more so that Frenzy could see Punch's semen dribbling out to form a little puddle on the chair. Dragging a finger through the mess and flicking it at him before raising an eyebrow.

Frenzy finished the download and moved to put the memory card back in the camera, setting the whole system back on its tripod. Turning to face Starscream and pressing close enough that her head was in line with his stomach, looking down with a cocky expression.

"I don't suppose you have time for an encore, before you go back to that hulk of a husband of yours?"

Starscream grabbed one of his hands, her own fairly dwarfed by them, and led it to her crotch. Using his fingers to smear the viscous liquid over her pussy, laughing softly when a finger curled inside her.

"For you Frenzy, I think I can spare a few minutes."

~~

Soundwave secured Punch in his outdoor run, moving back inside to find a burgeoning fashion designer sitting on her sofa. A box held in his hands as he listened with a smirk to the noises coming from the recording room.

Soundwave walked over and immediately shut the door, the sound proofing cutting off the sound of her eldest son fucking the blonde porn star. Grabbing the box from the brunette and muttering under her breath as she took it to the table and opened it. Ignoring the man as he moved to stand beside her, watching as she lifted each garment out with care.

She laid each one out, inspecting it. Running a trained eye over stitches and embellishments, lace and beading, making sure that the items were well crafted.

The nurse dress was a bit longer than she'd wanted, but Starscream could work with that. It never hurt to add a bit of mystique, and lord knows that there wasn't anything that she could think of that would stop the sales of Starscream's videos.

The man watched her, eyes hooded as she finally placed each outfit on a hanger and stored them in the giant walk in closet, a body pressing close to her backside the second the last one was hung.

"I love to see you adore my work. Gets me all hot and bothered, because I know you're counting stitches, and approving my fabric choice."

Soundwave rolled her eyes, but let him press her close. Reaching back to run her fingers through his styled auburn hair, simply because she knew it annoyed him. He tsked at her and caught her hand, pressing a kiss to the knuckles, just holding her close.

"Tracks..."

"Shuu baby. I am still aware of your done and gone ex. Still understand that all you want is a little comfort. Just let me give that to you."

She turned in his arms, just resting against his chest. Listening to his heart beat with a slow and steady rhythm. Blaster was gone. She knew that.

Gone.

Soundwave straightened up, holding her head high as she heard Tracks sigh behind her

"Thank you Tracks. I'll call you with the next order."

~~

Dirge stowed his backpack, slamming his locker shut and moving to join the throng of teens heading off toward classes.

He had an appointment, but hopefully it wouldn't take more than a minute or two. He didn't fancy getting another detention for being late to math.

Slipping into the bathroom, he knocked three times on the far stall, the latch clicking as it slid out of the catch. Sliding in and re-hooking the lock before turning to face Bumblebee. The smaller teen fiddling nervously with his hands and refusing to look at Dirge's face.

"We don't have much time here. You got the cash?"

The blonde produced a small bundle of cash, shoving it at Ramjet with a frightened expression.

"Dad said to make sure he got the latest with her and Punch... and on DVD like usual."

Dirge quickly counted the money, shoving it into a special pocket on the inside of his cargo pants, before flipping open his binder and pulling out a cased dvd with a picture of Punch on the front. Handing it to the sophmore with a smile.

"Don't be so nervous. We're almost done here and you can go pretend we don't know each other, alright?"

Bumblebee blushed as he met Dirge's eyes, looking down, then away. His hands fisted at his sides.

"I... don't really know what to do..."

Dirge felt his dick stirring, just at the thought of getting Bumblebee on his knees.

"Just don't use your teeth and you should do just fine."

He pushed on Bumblebee's shoulders and the teen dropped, knees hitting the floor with a crack that even made Dirge wince. Undoing his pants and reaching in to pull his cock through the gap in his boxers, giving it a few strokes. Bumblebee's shaking hand reaching up to follow his, touch light and infuriating.

"Harder. That shit tickles."

Bumblebee flinched, but gripped more firmly. Tongue reaching out to lick around the head, lapping cautiously at the warm skin.

Dirge groaned into his arm, the little puffs of air that hit his wet dick playing him like a wonderfully tightly strung violin. He pressed against Bumblebee's mouth, thrusting just enough to bounce his cock off the plush lips until they opened. Ignoring the muffled cry of surprise that came from the blonde.

He kept it shallow, hurting Bumblebee was a no-no, it would ruin his reputation besides. There was a reason that he sold the most movies at the school. He was too damn good to mess that up for a 5 second orgasm in the pot.

Running his hands over the sophmore's head, threading his fingers through the short blonde hair like he'd seen his mother do to their father when he was eating her out. Coaxing, gentle and demanding all at once because they knew you were there, just as focused on them as they were on you.

Sometimes, Dirge mused, it paid to have a stripper for a mom. He knew more about sex then probably the whole school combined.

Including how to get it when he wanted it.

So he petted the other boy, and when he finally shot his load soon after that, it was to an eager mouth that kept sucking until he moved the blonde head away.

Bumblebee had a strangely happy smile when leaving the bathroom.


	4. Hole number 1, Hole number 2

Universe: Wildly AU - Humanized Transformers  
Rating: NC17  
Characters: A lot of them. Megatron, Starscream, Optimus Prime, Elita One, Soundwave, cassettes, Blaster, cassettes, Prowl, Jazz, Tracks, Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Cliffjumper, Sideswipe, Coneheads, Shockwave, Sunstorm, Arcee, and probably a lot more that I can't remember.

Reminder to check the first chapter for WARNINGS if you need to. Otherwise, please do read on!

EDIT: Fucking italics.

* * *

A woman in her late thirties stood in a severe A line skirt and button up blouse stood outside of the two story house. Eyes disdainful as she rang the doorbell and stood up ramrod straight, her already perfect posture becoming militarian.

Ramjet opened the door and looked at her, not saying a word.

"I am here to speak with your mother, is she available at present?"

Ramjet cocked his head and the woman leaned forward when she realized that he was listening to something.

"Ah... Ah... Ah...Oh do that again! Harder Megatron! Harder!"

Something low rumbled in response, Starscream's laugh turned into a yelp as they heard a sharp slap. A keen rising in the air, coupled with a loud groan that lasted far longer than the woman thought it should have. Her eyebrow twitched and she shoved her way past the boy only to stop short as she saw Starscream bent over the couch, her bear of a husband thrusting into her with long, full motions. His hands clasped around her waist as he pulled her back into him with each movement, the 'smack' of flesh on flesh ringing through the air.

She stood, mouth open, the teen coming up beside her and watching. He turned to her, patted his crotch, then patted her backside before walking away, obviously uninterested in the goings on in the living room.

Arachnid gave herself two seconds to pull herself together before opening and shutting her binder with a sharp crack, the two on the couch jumping at the sound. Starscream opened her mouth and turned her head, only to look at the intruder with confusion, then annoyance.

"Can't you see we're BUSY? What kind of person just waltzes into another person's home? I should call the police and have you arrested for trespassing!"

Megatron had stopped his thrusting, but was grinding in slow circles, thumbs caressing the curve of her buttocks. "Also, while others may be so inclined to stop when they have voyeurs..." He rolled his hips in a movement that clenched every muscle in his ass, slowly, before rolling back and letting them go slack, displaying his assets for the woman still standing there. "We have no such qualms."

He rolled his hips again, settling back into the slow rhythm that he'd been in before they'd been startled, earning a shudder and a moan from Starscream as she clenched her nails into the fabric of the couch cushion.

"I'm here about your children. I'm their school counselor and- Would you PLEASE just stop that for a moment and let me speak? This is regarding your children's wellbeing!"

The woman grit her teeth as she was regarded with two sets of dispassionate eyes. Ignoring the continuous movement and sound that she was sure was going to require bleach to remove from her mind.

"Don't care, leave us be. Do that again Megatron!"

Megatron's hands obligingly dropped back and gripped her ass cheeks, lifting and spreading them wide. This time pulling out and sinking to a crouch to press his face into her wet pussy, stubble rasping over sensitive skin as he flicked his tongue out and into her. Licking once, twice, before moving back to press his tongue against her asshole, circling the ring of muscle before shoving the full length of his tongue into the opening. Giving a purr at the cry he wrenched from his wife, holding her hips and ass steady as she tried to buck backwards, one eye flicking over to where Arachnid still stood, her binder clutched to her chest so tightly her fingers were white.

His hands relaxed momentarily, before getting a better hold and hauling the cheeks back apart. Mouth open and Arachnid could see his tongue thrusting and retreating, ignoring the heat that was building up in her own groin.

A bite to her ass and Megatron stood, pressing into her with no preparation. Arachnid shuddered, but Starscream didn't seem to have the same feelings on the matter, wiggling and moaning and clawing at the cushion.

_Arachnid couldn't take it any longer, she dropped her binder and moved over, slithering underneath Starscream and settling on her knees. Tilting her head back and sucking an already slick lip into her mouth, one hand coming up and curling around the back of a tan thigh as she plied her considerable tongue talents. Thoughts briefly turning to Arcee with a tinge of guilt before it disappeared and she crooked two fingers and hooked them inside a well pounded pussy, pulling downward and firmly closing her mouth around the swollen clit. Smirking at the cry that came from her ministrations, not Megatron's._

_His thrusts sped up, balls smacking hard enough to cause the flesh to ripple outward for a second and Arachnid increased her efforts as well, no man would outdo her, she had always made sure of that. Lipping and sucking, forcing the point of her tongue inside the hood and undulating it, feeling Starscream's channel clench against the pull of her fingers and pulling just that much harder, to the point she knew bordered on pain. Her other hand letting go of that perfect thigh to fold fingers into a point and shove into Starscream, tongue flicking the clit back and forth in a rapid succession, one that did exactly what she'd wanted._

_Starscream's voice rose in a sharp scream, a vowel that seemed to go on forever as her vaj clenched hard enough over Arachnid's hand to cause a little pain as the joints ground together, Megatron pulling out and frantically rubbing until he spattered jizz all over her back and ass, some of the creamy liquid hitting Arachnid as she milked the orgasm for all it was worth. Only stopping when the jerks of Starscream's body spoke of overstimulation rather than pleasure._

Arachnid shook her head, retightening her grip on her binder, turning and walking out of the house without another word or glance.

Megatron watched her go, one hand splayed between Starscream's shoulders, the other reaching around to tug a nipple ring. "Pity. You know how I love threesomes."

Starscream clenched and released against Megatron, eyes rolling as she wiggled herself around. "Finish seducing that darling neighbor of ours and you can have that threesome whenever you want. Now, how about you finish me off here, I have a nail appointment and I want a nap before I have to head over to Soundwave's." She rocked back against him, a hand snaking between her legs to trail nailtips over Megatron's balls.

A laugh, but Megatron complied, resettling his steel toe boots along side her platforms and resuming thrusting.

~~ oooooOOOOOooooo

"Hey."

Soundwave froze, the phone nearly slipping from her grasp as she sat down heavily in a kitchen chair. "Blaster?"

A nervous chuckle came over the line. "Yeah, I... ah, well, Steelie pulled out the photo album and was asking about you, and I..."

There was silence on the line for a moment.

"I wanted to talk to you."

Soundwave refused to let the tears that were gathering in her eyes fall. Refused. Her free arm was clutched to her chest, the phone pressed so hard against her ear that it hurt. "How dare you."

"I really did! I really did want to talk to you! Catch up maybe, go out for-"

"NO!" Soundwave shouted, her body beginning to shake with the force of her unrestrained emotions. "No!" Frenzy ran in, he'd been setting up for the evening's shoot when he'd heard her shout.

"How dare you call me after all this time, after years of nothing but checks and a holiday card, you think that just because Steeljaw wanted to know who I was that you calling me is alright?"

She heard Blaster faltering over the phone. "It wasn't like that Sounders!"

That stupid nickname. That stupid man. That stupid, STUPID man.

"I have a successful career now! You and Frenzy don't have to do what you're doing anymore! I can support you both, you can do whatever you want! I just want to talk to you, to him, I still love you both!"

A cry escaped Soundwave, the noise tearing itself out of her like a beast into its dinner. "You don't understand, you never will! I'm fine doing what I'm doing now, I don't need you, your money, or your misguided affections!" She stood up and threw the phone against the wall, hearing one last "Sounders!" before it shattered, pieces flying everywhere.

Tracks peeked his head in the door, a box clutched in his hands as he looked at the broken phone bewilderedly. Frenzy tried to tuck his mother against his chest, but she pushed him away and ran to her bedroom, fists clenched and silent tears running down her face.

"Should I come back?" Tracks held his package against his chest, like a pitiful shield against the dragon.

Frenzy just shook his head, walking over and grabbing the box, setting it on Soundwave's table. "We have a shoot tonight, I'm setting up, and I don't think she wants me to pat her back anyway." He gave a crooked grin. "Mind seeing if she's alright?"

The fashion designer nodded and slipped through the house to knock at Soundwave's bedroom door, ignoring the sharp "Go away!" and opening it anyway to find Soundwave sitting on her bed. Fists clenched at her sides, staring at the wall as tears ran down her face.

"Hey doll, mind telling me what's wrong?"

"Go away Tracks."

He sidled up and sat next to her on the bed, curling an arm around her shoulder and tugging her to lean on him. Just sitting until she began to relax, a sob finally escaping before she pressed her face into his neck.

"Shuu baby. I'm here, just let it out. I'm here."

~~ oooooOOOOOooooo

Jazz was stretched in a split on her mat, stomach against the floor as she read her magazine. "Ah'd fuck her. Totally fuck him, oOOOooh! Ah would DEFININTLY fuck him, anywhere, anytime."

Prowl rolled his eyes as he walked across the training room to pick up a bo staff. His collection of weaponry gleaming down from every wall, speaking of hundreds of years of history within them.

"Uh, no. Crooked neck, Ah really need ta get a dress like that! Her boobs look like cherubs shit all over'm!"

Jazz rolled up, legs closing and arching backward into a handstand, one foot after the other swinging down to touch the floor. Prancing over to Prowl and grabbing his arm, swinging the man in a circle. "Prowler! Take meh shoppin'!"

"I take you shopping every other day Jazz, what makes this dress so special?" Prowl shook her off with the ease of practice and went back to his staff form, moving smoothly around his wife without breaking out of the pattern.

She pouted, her hands going to curvy hips. "Didn'ja hear meh? Ah need mah boobs ta look like a cherub shit on 'em. Ah don't have nothin' like that."

Prowl stopped, placing his bo down on the floor and turning to stand in front of Jazz. With one finger he traced down her hairline, the tight curls springing back when he drug them downward. Smoothing his fingertip over her dark brown skin to trace full lips, the underside of the chin and down the neck, over the generous swell of her lycra clad breast to stop on the nipple. Dipping his head to nuzzle first one, than the other, before cupping them in his slender hands.

"Jazz. The finest cherub shit in the world couldn't compare to my preferred garment on your lovely breasts."

She looked up at him through heavy lashes. "An' jus' what garment would that be."

A smirk. "Nature's finest, of course."

Jazz returned the smirk, reaching up for a kiss. "Ah do have an appointment tonight, but Ah think Ah have jus' enough time t' play Geisha Girl wit'ya." She stepped back and trotted off, giving Prowl a glance over her shoulder before slipping out the door.

He gave a shudder before moving to replace the bo staff in the rack, bowing once to the shrine at the head of the room before hurrying after his wife. Hoping he had enough time to don his own garment before she decided that she was done pretending to pour the tea.


	5. Just a TOUCH of lipstick

Universe: Wildly AU - Humanized Transformers  
Rating: NC17  
Characters: A lot of them. Megatron, Starscream, Optimus Prime, Elita One, Soundwave, cassettes, Blaster, cassettes, Prowl, Jazz, Tracks, Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Cliffjumper, Sideswipe, Coneheads, Shockwave, Sunstorm, Arcee, and probably a lot more that I can't remember.

Reminder to check the first chapter for WARNINGS if you need to. Otherwise, please do read on!

Yeah, I don't even know where this is going anymore. It's as much a surprise to you all as it is to me. XD

* * *

Jazz walked into Soundwave's house, waving to Frenzy as she took a seat in one of the armchairs, throwing her legs up over the arm. "How are yah t'night Frenzy?"

Frenzy gave her a quick grin, going back to sorting through the props on the table, momentarily hefting up a double sided dildo before setting if off to one side. "Not bad, though we might not see Ma tonight, I hope that is alright?"

The black woman made a face, but settled more comfortably in the chair. "Unless Screamer makes it a problem."

A chuckle. Frenzy walking over to bump fists with Jazz.

"I'll do my best to keep everything on the right track, how's that?"

"Good enough." Jazz looked around. "What we doin' t'night anyway?"

Frenzy walked back over to the computer, pulling out a clipboard and handing it to her. "Got a call in for some lipstick, they asked for you and Starscream specifically."

Jazz sat up and took the clipboard, flipping through the pages and reading the contract. "Yah kidding meh? They want VIRGIN LIPSTICK outta meh an' Screamer? This ain't some kinda joke?"

"Nope. New company. They call themselves 'Black and White', and cater specifically to that community. They said they were looking around and they liked you two the best, but that they wanted something soft to start out with. Something to get people interested."

She shook her head. "Ah don' even know if we can do that. We don' have that kinda relationship. You sure they've seen our stuff?"

"Can't do what Jazz, I thought you did anything and everything for the right price." Starscream walked in, picking up a water bottle and twisting the cap off.

A snarl. "No, that would be YOU Screamer. Believe it or not, Ah do this simply because Ah enjoy it, or Ah did. Yah make it hard for a girl t' get her freak on wit'out it gettin' personal."

Starscream flipped her hair, sitting down in the other armchair and taking the clipboard held out by Jazz. "What has your panties in a twist then, they want us to do horses again or something?" She started reading the papers. "They WHAT?"

Jazz laughed. "Ah know. So this is either gonna be th' first gig Ah turn down, or we're gonna have t'do a lot of bonding real quick."

Frenzy was leaning back against the table, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the two.

oooooOOOOOooooo

"You feeling better now doll?" Tracks squeezed Soundwave's shoulders.

Soundwave gave it a minute before collecting herself and sitting up straight, shaking off Tracks arm as she stood. "Thank you Tracks. I'm sorry that you-"

Tracks stood up as well, hands coming up to grasp her shoulders in a painfully tight grip. "Don't even think about it. I told you that I'd be here, and I meant it. Don't apologize. Haven't I told you how much you mean to me?" He leant in and kissed her full on the mouth, Soundwave freezing stock still. His mouth was warm and desperate against hers and it had been so long since she'd been kissed like this. Something more than a one night stand where there was no emotional connection. Tracks was full of emotion, boiling over with it, clutching her tightly and putting himself out for her to accept or reject, something Blaster had never done.

Fresh tears came to her eyes and before she even realized it she was kissing back, clawing at Tracks' clothing, her own clothing. Popping buttons as she ripped Tracks' shirt off, tearing her skirt as she hiked it up, not even bothering to pull it off. Fumbling with his fly, feeling his fingers unclasp her bra and pull it and shirt off in one motion, arching into his mouth as it found her breast. Underwear hanging off one ankle as Tracks pushed her back onto the bed and thrust into her, lips parted in a silent scream. Locking her legs around his waist and pulling him into her with each thrust, hands carding through his hair as he sucked and worried her nipples. Eyes closed, mouth open. Tracks' name slipping out in a continuous stream that seemed to spur him on.

oooooOOOOOooooo

"Is Soundwave coming? I'm done waiting." Starscream stretched, returning to tapping her nails on the arm of the chair.

Frenzy glanced at the clock. "Let me check." Walking out into the living room and over to his mother's room, stopping just short of knocking when he heard Tracks name. Leaning an ear to the door and then stepping back sharply, moving back into the scene room and closing the connecting door. "Nah, Ma ain't gonna be with us tonight. So you girls either decide what you're going to do, or pack it up for the night, if you'd please."

Jazz and Starscream shared a confused look, because Soundwave had never missed a session before, but shrugged it off. If Frenzy wasn't worried, there wasn't a need to be worried.

"Ah dunno Screamer. They're offering a good chunk of change for it... but yanno it ain't gonna be the same as our regular sessions."

Starscream looked over the contract one more time, a crease appearing in her brow. "I say we give it a try, worst that could happen is we have to decline. I don't want to, but..."

"Ah agree. Ah suppose it can't hurt nothin'." Jazz's grin turned sharp. "Think you can even pull off naive and innocent?"

A humph, the blonde tossing the clipboard back to Frenzy. "Better than a real virgin." She stood, walking over to the wardrobe, "You pick the toys, I'll pick the clothes."

Jazz rolled her eyes, but stepped over to the table.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Tracks mouth covered hers again, his hands cradling her head as he lay over her. Pants around his knees, rolling his hips again and again into her inviting warmth. Sweet and slow kisses keeping their lips in contact for eons, Soundwave's short nails digging into Tracks' back as he moved against her. Her whispered invocations of his name against his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, unending and barely loud enough to hear. Head tipping backward as she felt the burning in her belly grow, Tracks lowering his own to fit against her neck, mouth just touching the skin there as she felt him struggle to maintain control.

"Tracks!"

She didn't even know why she was saying his name. A plea, an apology, she had no clue. Just that it came out of her in a flood, the muscles in her abdomen tightening as she clamped down, fighting off her own orgasm. Feeling the rasp of pubic hair against the over sensitive nerve endings, it tangling and moving against her own, adding to the sensation that was quickly pushing her over the edge.

"Come on baby, let it go. Let me see your beautiful eyes when you come, Soundwave."

Soundwave didn't even have the presence to feel embarrassed at his words, just opened her eyes and looked up to find Tracks hovering right above her head. Gaze intense as he worked to get her off, thumbs moving to stroke the tear tracks on her cheeks.

Oh how she wanted that look to be directed at her all the time, even while at the same time hating herself for it. After Blaster she'd told herself no more, that it wouldn't happen again, then Tracks had come into her life with his flashy clothing and flair for the dramatic. Worming his way into her heart with disturbing ease.

She hit her peak, body convulsing, clinging tighter to the man above her as she rode out the sensations. Tracks stopping his movement and waiting, watching her until she relaxed before thrusting again, only lasting a half dozen more strokes before Soundwave felt warmth burst inside her and let her legs drop to the bed.

"Tracks..."

He tightened his grip on her, laying his head back down against her neck, shifting them and rolling them to the side, still connected, to lay face to face.

"I meant it. I'm going to be here no matter what."

Soundwave just closed her eyes, ignoring the niggling voice in the back of her mind that screamed at her. That told her that she couldn't trust that.

That reminded her that Blaster had said that not a week before leaving.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Starscream was dressed in a light blue sundress, the hem stopping just above her knees. She'd traded her platforms for a pair of loafers, and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Her makeup displaying a fresh faced young woman, one who looked slightly nervous as she was led to a plush looking bed.

Her partner, a shorter, curvy black woman, was dressed in a skirtsuit, blazer slung over her shoulder. The top buttons of her dress shirt undone, so you could see just a hint of blood red undergarments. "Don' worry sugar. Ah promise that yah gonna have a good time."

"Are... Are you really sure? I'm, I'm... I've never done anything with a... with a..."

Jazz smoothed a hand over her backside, laughing at the way Starscream flinched. "With another woman?"

Starscream nodded, turning her head to look at Jazz. Misstepping and falling face first into the bed, dress sliding up as she landed with her ass in the air to reveal cream panties, Jazz's eyes darkening as she climbed up behind Starscream. Running her hands over the underwear from hem to hem. "Ah promise t' take good care of yah sugar. Real good care."

The young woman pushed herself up and crawled forward, turning over and clenching her knees tightly together. Lower lip trembling as she watched Jazz.. "And you won't tell anyone?" Crossing her arms in front of her chest as Jazz moved up to pet her hair, a hand rubbing soothingly on her shoulder.

"Ah promise sugar. No one will know but us."

She nodded, hesitantly reaching out to hold one of Jazz's hands, clasping it tightly. "What... what do I do?"

Jazz leaned in for a kiss, gently moving her lips over Starscreams. Coaxing the young woman into responding until they were parting and coming together in rhythm. Releasing the hand only to turn her own and lace their fingers together, the other tracing the blonde's jawline back and forth. Thumb coming to rest right under her ear, the fingers curling around her neck and lightly scratching. Pulling back to mouth the underside of her chin back to her earlobe.

"Nothing. Jus' enjoy. Let meh do all th' work sugar."

Another nod and Jazz leaned her back into the mound of pillows that angled them perfectly for the cameras. Frenzy carefully monitoring the three separate tripods, moving between them and adjusting as needed.

A breathy "Okay..." and Jazz's hands let go to slowly unbutton her shirt. Slipping it off, then grasping the hiked hem of Starscream's dress and pulling it up. Stopping their kiss long enough to draw it off of her, a hand smoothing the length of her arm, pulling it away from where it had tried to cover her matching cream bra. Fingertips stroking the slight curve, following it to dip down to the clasp in the middle. Unhooking it in a single motion, Starscream gasping as it popped outward, her breasts dropping slightly without the support.

Jazz leaned back, pulling the straps off one arm, then the other. "Your breasts are beautiful sugar, like th' plumpest peaches Ah've ever seen. Do they taste as good as they look?" She discarded the bra to the side and cupped them in her hands, Starscream giving a noise of surprise, hands fluttering as she tried to figure out where to put them, Jazz dipping down to lick a spiral inward. Stopping when she reached the nipple, tongue circling the hardening nub until Starscream began to jerk into her touch, before closing her mouth over the areola and sucking. Moving to the other side and repeating the motion, hands undoing her own bra and letting it fall to the side. Finally sitting up and sliding out of her skirt, bending back to plant kisses to a quivering stomach, inching the panties off to reveal Starscream for the camera.

Starscream's hands flew to her mouth, breathing heavy through her fingers as she watched Jazz slide down and tip her hips up. Pushing her legs apart enough to lay down between them, fingers stroking the curve of her ass as she breathed air over the young woman's groin.

oooooOOOOOooooo

Megatron stood and stretched after his nap, taking a second to pull on boxers before clomping out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Eyeing someone's already made food before taking a tv dinner out of the freezer and throwing it in the microwave. It was either that or Hot Pockets, and he didn't feel like getting burnt or cracking a tooth right now.

Waiting for the microwave, he stood by the kitchen window, looking out at the street. Arms coming up in another stretch, on that cracked his spine with a satisfying series of pops, sniffing his armpit and deciding that he could go a while longer before taking a shower. He was just about to turn away when he caught a glimpse of white blonde hair, eyes focusing in on the person with striking intensity.

Optimus Prime.

His hands tightened on the countertop as he watched the man put his garbage cans out by the road. Eyes travelling the length of his well built body, from the fitted-but-not-tight shirt to the loose pajama pants that hung so that Megatron could see the outline of his dick through the fabric. The bare feet hitting the ground with just enough force that he could tell Optimus wasn't worried about getting hurt and he gave a growl. Pushing himself away from the counter and striding purposefully outside to heft a garbage can in each hand, holding them far enough from his body so that he wasn't touched by them and walking to the end of the driveway. Clunking them down with enough force to startle the staring Optimus..

"Ah... Hello?"

Megatron walked over to get the mail, leaning the sturdy wooden post, briefly looking at the letters before staring at Optimus. "Hello." Reaching down and 'adjusting' his considerable length through the thin cotton he had on, enjoying the way Optimus' eyes strayed to watch his movement. "Are you busy today?"

Optimus took a second before he answered. "No. Elita's gone until late this evening, and I have the day off from work. Just relaxing. You?"

A purr, Megatron's smirk deepening. "I only have one thing I'd planned on _doing_ today. Would you like to come in for a bite and a beer? I've been wanting to get to know you better."

"Sorry, I, ah, don't drink anymore." Optimus looked a bit uncomfortable, Megatron's eyebrow raising just a little at the statement.

"I'm sure I can find something suitable then."

The blonde looked a little unsure, but nodded and followed Megatron into the house.

"Where is your wife?"

The older man gave a one armed shrug, not turning around while he spoke. "She had a couple engagements she said she couldn't miss. You know how women are."

Actually, he really didn't, Elita wasn't really the typical woman. Optimus played along though, unwilling to embarrass himself so early on. "Yeah... I suppose. Everything is different over here anyway."

They reached the kitchen, Megatron opening the fridge and taking out a jug of orange pop, pouring a glass and handing it to Optimus. Gesturing to the table before pulling down a cast iron skillet and grabbing a hunk of meat out of the cooler case. "That's right, you aren't from around here. You speak English pretty well though, did that happen before or after your move?"

"We were all taught English in primary school. We're close enough to England that it makes things easier when we go off to college, well, that and most people still complain that German is too rough a language..."

The stove was hot, the meat sizzling in the pan, and Megatron swung a chair around to straddle it. The hand not holding his beer reaching out to cup Optimus' chin, tipping his face up to look into his eyes. "The perfect Aryan, aren't you."

Optimus shook off his hand, standing up with an angry look. "I don't know what you are implying, but I refuse to further this conversation. Thank you for your hospitality." He set the still full plastic cup down on the table and moved toward the entrance, nearly there when a large hand grasped his wrist. "Let me go."

Megatron did, leaning his bulk up against the wall. "I didn't mean anything bad by that. In fact," he crossed his arms over his chest, eyes darkening as he let his gaze travel up and down Optimus' body, "I happen to have a thing for blondes with blue eyes. I don't suppose you'd be interested?"

Whatever Optimus had been expecting, it wasn't that. His mouth dropped open and he just stared, Megatron's eyes smoldering at him from where he was leaned against the wall.

"I... What?"

oooooOOOOOooooo

Starscream pressed her fingers harder to her mouth, trying to stifle the sounds that kept coming out as Jazz pressed her tongue inside again and again. Her fingers holding the smooth pussy spread wide as she licked and sucked against the overwarm flesh, tongue weaving and tracing patterns over and under and inside. Lathing the flat of her tongue up, then down, against Starscream's clit, holding her legs apart when they tried to press together. "Yah doing fine sugar, just let meh take care of ya."

She just nodded, biting her lip. "Ah! I know Miss Jazz! I'll-Ahhhhh!- try!"

Jazz's fingers spread Starscream out even further, waiting a moment for Frenzy to get a good close up shot before sticking out her tongue, a show for the camera, and moving her face forward to press it inside Starscream. Swirling it in a circle, making sure to touch every inch of the inner walls that she could reach.

A silent signal from Starscream, one that Jazz had long learned to read, had her drawing back. Hands petting the other woman's legs as she moved back up for a soft kiss, pulling her hands to Jazz's own breasts, a coo when Starscream hesitantly began moving her thumbs slowly. She pulled a hot pink vibrator out from underneath the pillow pile, tapping the tip to Starscream's mouth, encouraging her to take it inside. Thrusting it slowly, gently, kissing the side of her mouth opposite the side the cameras were on, until it was wet and shiny. A soft pop as it came out, and was trailed down between her breasts, over her navel, to just stroke the skin. Letting it slide between the folds of skin, up and down, before clicking the small machine on and pushing it inside. Twisting and moving her hand, letting the toy rest against different places within Starscream. Kissing the blonde, and giving a little moan herself when the tan hands on her breasts took a little more initiative.

Starscream broke off to thrash her head from side to side, Jazz taking the hint and moving to lay on her far side, never losing her grip on the toy. Tan legs spread wider, and Starscream's arms came up over her head to grip the pillows, Frenzy moving a camera in closer, zooming in on the motion of the vibrator.

"Miss Jazz! Ah! I'm, I'm gonna-"

Jazz kept the motion steady, leaning in to lip at a nipple. "Don't hold back on meh sugar. Ah want them t' hear yah back out there on th' street."

A wail rang through the room, Starscream pushing her chest out, visibly clamping down on the vibrator before relaxing back in to the pillows with a short sob. The two women coming together for more soft kisses as a tear slipped down Starscream's cheek to land on the fabric.

The second Frenzy gave them the cut they broke if off, Jazz pulling out the vibrator and clicking it off. Moving off the bed and putting it in the 'used' bin to be washed and sanitized.

"No offence meant Screamer, but that was too weird for meh. Ah'm gonna have ta turn that down if it comes up again."

Starscream lounged on the pillows, flipping over to her front to watch Jazz strip off the costume panties. Giving a hum of appreciation at the sight before answering. "It wasn't that bad. You're being a baby."

Jazz turned and gave her a blank look. Pulling her own underwear and tank top back on, flipping Starscream the bird as she reached for her pants. "A. Ah was in a skirt suit. B. Th' only thing Ah used on yah was a vibrator, and C. Ah don' ever want t' hear yah call meh 'Miss Jazz' again."

A snicker. "But Miss Jazz! I'm so afraid! What if my daddy finds out I was with another woman... You'll take care of me, won't you Miss Jazz?"

Brown eyes narrowed, and Jazz threw the balled up crimson panties at Starscream. Ignoring the laughing blonde still naked on the bed. "Next time Ah come here, there better be a bed wit' restraints and a box of whips. Ah'm gonna mark yah up so bad that yah ain't gonna want nobody ta touch yah for a week! Yah hear me Screamer!"

The woman gave an exaggerated shiver. "You know I enjoy those little sessions as much as you do. Threats like that only make me want it more."

Jazz's fingers curled as she stalked back over to the bed, grabbing Starscream's hair and pulling her onto her knees. "Yah should know meh better than that Screamer. It ain't no threat, it's a promise." She slammed them together, their teeth clacking as they met, devouring the other woman's mouth with teeth and tongue before throwing her back onto the bed. Climbing over her and biting a nipple hard enough to leave marks, Starscream moaning and reaching up to grasp Jazz's head.

As quick as she'd started though, Jazz was off Starscream and over to the door, eyes flashing before she grabbed her keys and walked out.

Starscream just laughed.

oooooOOOOOooooo

"Wait. You're... You're propositioning me? What about your wife?"

Megatron pushed off from the wall and moved in closer, until he was close enough that Optimus could feel the heat coming off of his body. Eyes smoldering, deep and Optimus didn't even realize that he was leaning in, that his lips were parting of their own volition.

"We have an agreement." Leaning in to just touch their lips together as he said it before turning around and walking back to the kitchen. Not even looking to see if Optimus was following.

"If you're interested. I do still have that... drink, waiting for you."


End file.
